I recently started talking to this girl, who has a 90 day rule. She’s very smart, attractive, beautiful, and very ambitious. She is everything that I want in a partner and more, but the problem, is I think that I have a sexual addiction. This has been the longest two weeks of my life, I am tired of masturbating, and I have pressed pause on other women that I only have physical relations with (we have an agreement and they know their place), just to focus on her. I am not willing to go to anyone, let alone a counselor to talk about this, because I don’t want to be ridiculed or laughed at, Vincentians can be mean. I can really see her in my future, but the 90 day rule is torture, will it even be worth the wait? Will she be able to satisfy my sexual/ sensual appetite? Will she be able to handle my love for masturbation and porn? Should I tell her the truth?
Well damn! You have found yourself between a “rock and a hard place” (pun intended). The first step in healing your addiction is acknowledgement, so you’re pretty much on the right path. As for your insatiable appetite, the next thing you should consider is the definition of an addict. Based on your description and in my own opinion, I do not think you are an addict, but yes as you said, more so a large appetite. However, if you want to explore this topic a bit more, this link will give you an idea of the characteristics of a sex addict:
Have you tried speaking to her? Communication is one of the most important pillars of a relationship. How do you know what her response would be if you haven’t spoken to her? Perhaps she can give you her take on it, perhaps she too may be struggling, hence her 90 day rule. You need to start practicing healthy communication in your relationship if you want this to work. Things left unsaid will always come back to haunt you later. If you really love her and you want this relationship to work, this is probably exactly what you need to help control your sexual appetite, it will not be an easy journey, so pace yourself. You never know she just might be worth the wait *wink, wink*
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