My life is a mess right now and I believe it’s a punishment from God…I am so so depressed bcoz of everything that’s been going on lately in my life. Let me tell you y I’ve been punished. So 4 yrs ago I met this guy very popular n loaded but I never really Cared for those things. Everytime he comes around he wanna Pursue a relationship but I always turn him down this guy has a family n Is married for yearsssss. I Used to work real close to his best friend and everyday he gave his bf money r lunch r gift to give me which I obviously send dem bck he sent his phone one day saying he was going call me on it so we can talk bcoz I wasn’t giving him my number either,I was just not going get mix up with ah married man and I wasn’t going give him no chance…fast forward to about a year.one painful afternoon I got a call that my best friend passed away that hit me so hard that I fell in a deep state of depression for weeks I cudnt eat r sleep I was a wreck crying none stop.i guess his bf told him about it and he start sending me cards flowers etc n I really needed Some comfort He was there for me We got real close but I was still not giving him the chance he so desperately needed he start coming my work to give me ride home if he can’t make it he send ppl we start going out on dates about 8-9 months after we start dating we started having sex then he got so controlling so obsessed start putting his hand on me saying if I leave him r talk to any man he putting a hit on my head but that’s not all I started getting alot of Illnesses in just couple months I’ve gone from a healthy woman to someone being so sick that I’m starting to think I’ve been cursed/maybe God punishing me….I am now a diabetic hypertensive with an std and just recently found out I have heart n kidney problems And I might have to take a heart surgery six months ago I was healthy(I usually get myself checked) in 6 months Time I got all this going on everything just hit me one time so, my diabetes so bad that it’s already affecting my sight. No one knows what’s going on with me bcoz I am keeping it all inside I’m sure is a nervous breakdown it’s leading to for bottling it all in and not talking about it with anybody but then again I don’t trust anybody neither. I don’t wanna get judged r any bashing although I deserve it I shouldn’t sleep with a married Man …I need your advice I just need to let it out.
Thank you for sharing your story, it may be an inspiration to others in a similar situation. I usually try to avoid discussing spirituality or religion as it is quite a touchy subject when working with my clients. However, please don’t think that this a punishment from God, it is an unfortunate circumstance, and it just happens to be yours. Your health and wellbeing should be your first priority, everything else comes after. Please continue taking the necessary steps in following up on your doctor’s orders, having a healthy diet and exercise is key to taking control of your health. My condolences to you on the loss of your friend, I cannot imagine what you must have gone through. It sounds like this man took advantage of you in your vulnerable state, and you unfortunately fell for it, after reading about everything that he has done to you. It is clear that he is a selfish, inconsiderate, domineering, ignorant individual, that is no good for you. He has asserted his dominance over you by using money, gifts, manipulation and physical abuse that I believe has most certainly contributed to your current health decline. It is imperative that you remove yourself from this situation, at the end of the day I doubt he would leave his family.
This man has nothing over you and it is time to take control of your life. As an advocate of physical abuse towards women, I always urge my clients to connect with the authorities and record any instances of physical abuse or threats from their partners. Even though nothing may be done about it right away, it will be recorded as proof. I would strongly urge you to contact the authorities and have these incidents and threats recorded (placed on file). I understand that you find it difficult to confide in someone due to your trust issues, but it is imperative to tell someone close about your current situation, as this would serve an outlet for your sanity and is also another form of recording the issue, should there be any further threats down the line.
It is never easy to just put your mind at ease, but in your case it is necessary for your physical, mental and emotional well being. Take it one day at a time, don’t ask too much of yourself, or neglect your own needs. Try not to focus on the past because it cannot be changed, we all make mistakes. Try to be optimistic about your future going forward, live in the moment, breathe, pray, meditate, take a deep breath, think positive, speak positive. You got this, I believe in you, and I’m sure that those reading this letter also believes in you. Don’t be hard on yourself no one is perfect, we all have insecurities, fears and even skeletons in our closets. I wish you the all the best.
Sincerely,
Crystal Clear
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