For the men who are not married or cohabiting with their girlfriends and children. Ever had a situation with the mother of your child wanting to decide when you can or cannot see or spend time with your son or daughter? Fed up with hearing that the child is her child? Being asked to financially contribute to your child’s care, but access to your child is being withheld? Here’s what you need to know about the law relating to custody:-
1. The law says clearly that both parents are equally entitled to share their children, including the responsibility of caring for them physically, financially, and emotionally. So, mommy does not have god-given ownership of a child. A child is not the property of his/her parents to be pushed, pulled, and moved like a parcel. Each parent has the same rights and responsibilities towards their children.
2. The court will therefore look to several factors when deciding how to respond to an application for custody brought by a parent for the custody of their child. Custody can be joint with primary care and control to either parent – Both parents are entitled to access their children, or it could be sole custody to one parent with access granted to the other. The access could be supervised if needs be, or if a parent is deemed unfit, then the court can order sole custody to one parent, and they could decide to withhold access to the other parent. This happens in situations of abuse or neglect, and in those situations, depending on the circumstances, children can be removed into state care on a temporary or permanent basis.
3. In answering questions of custody of or access to a child, the court’s number one consideration is what is in the best interest of the child. The court will consider the current living situation of the child and how both parents interact. The thinking of the court is that children should have the benefit of parental and family interaction and support.
4. Now the court also investigates the living circumstances of both parents and their communities to determine what is in the child’s best interest. This investigation is done by social workers who prepare a social inquiry report, which goes back to the court for the attention of the parents and the judge. So make sure that your living space is in order, that you have what your child needs to be comfortable in your home, and that you are prepared to spend time with your child and to build that positive close bond and relationship (taking your child and leaving them with mommy essentially to be raised by your parents without you being in the picture is not an option, the court does not look favourably on that).
5. If a child is old enough and has an understanding, the wishes of the child will be taken into consideration by the court. The ability of the child to understand the process is determined by the Judge, who will chat with the child to hear from them, depending on their age.
6. When you go to court, prepare yourself for the court to be conciliatory in its approach. The Court will encourage parties to try to mediate and approach co-parenting and communicating with one another positively. Wanting to keep your child away from their parent because that person has a new love interest partner or spouse and has moved on is not something the court will entertain without evidence as to the person’s suitability so it makes sense to be honest about your situation and to approach the court with the idea that old hurts are set aside and you want to move forward with the best interest of your child at the centre of your thoughts as you plan to co-parent with their other parent.
If you want to explore custody and access arrangements for your child, be sure to reach out to a lawyer who practices family law for assistance, as each situation is unique
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