By Kimani Wiseman
Internet Company
Cindy: Mom, the internet is down again, it has been down for 3 days and I cannot get to do my assignments, they are due in less than one week.
Mom: I would pass by the internet company tomorrow and get it rectified.
Mom: Good morning, I would like to report an issue with the internet, it has been down for 3 days and my daughter have assignments that are due in less than one week.
Internet Provider: Good morning, we are sorry to hear that your internet has been down for 3 days, can you give us your name, address, and phone number and we would send a technician tomorrow to rectify the problem.
Mom: Thank you very much, enjoy your day.
Cindy: Mom, this is day four and the internet is still down, what is really going on?
Mom: I went by the internet company yesterday and they told me they would send a technician today, it is now 6:00pm and still no sign of any technician. I would do a follow up in the morning.
Mom: Good morning, I made a report yesterday about no internet at home. I was told that a technician would have passed yesterday, however, this is the fourth day I am without internet and the technician didn’t come to rectify the problem. My daughter have assignments that are due really soon and she needs the internet.
Internet Provider: We do apologise for the delay, can you have a little patience with us and the technician would be there tomorrow.
Cindy: Mom, I am really frustrated, day 5 and still no internet and the due date for my assignments are really close.
Mom: Cindy, unplug the modem, I would deal with them tomorrow.
Mom: Good morning, I am extremely pissed, I have been coming here for 2 days, I am without internet for five days and I was told a technician would have passed two days ago to rectify the issue, nobody came to rectify the issue, my daughter have assignments that are due really soon and the only thing I am getting is the run around. Here is your modem. I am switching to the other guys.
Store
Fiona: I need a dress to wear at my dinner tonight, can you accompany me to the store Janice to help me get one?
Janice: Of course, let me get my purse.
Fiona: Good morning, I am looking for a dress to wear at a dinner tonight, can I get some assistance?
Worker: Stewps, can’t you wait, I am on my phone, give me a break.
Fiona: You are on your phone? This cannot be a business place I am in, this has to be a dog show and I am going to speak to the supervisor.
Fiona: Supervisor, good morning, I came here to purchase a dress to wear at a dinner, I asked the young lady in the green shirt for some assistance and she replied by saying to give her a break, she is on her phone, I would not be returning to this store.
Restaurant
Frank: Hun, it has been a while since we went for dinner, at 7:00pm tonight, we would be going to the new restaurant that opened last month.
Olivia: I hope the new restaurant have some good food on the menu.
Waitress: Good night, what would you guys be having?
Frank: I would have steak and fries and a beer.
Olivia: I would have the barbeque wings and fries and a glass of passion fruit juice.
Frank: Hun, is that a rat under the table over there?
Olivia: Rats, there are 3 rats under the table and they are big as a dinosaur and four German cockroaches on the wall. This is ridiculous.
Waitress: Would you guys like anything else?
Olivia: What I would like are some rat traps and insecticide spray to kill those rats and German roaches in this restaurant. You can take those food back. We would not be eating here and we would not be returning to eat here in the future.
Supermarket
Doctor: Eddie, your blood pressure and sugar test results are back, they are high. I would strongly recommend a change of diet and include exercising as part of your daily routine.
Eddie: I would definitely be exercising more often and change my diet, as a matter of fact, I am going to the supermarket to purchase some yoghurt and oatmeal to make a smoothie later.
Eddie: What the hell, these yoghurts have been expired for two months and the oatmeal three months ago. This supermarket is not checking expiration date. Let me go and speak to the manager.
Eddie: Good morning sir, I have some yoghurt and oatmeal in my shopping basket and they have been expired two and three months ago. This is unacceptable and it can lead to food poisoning. There can be other items on the shelves that are also expired. You have to be very careful because it can deter customers from your business.